The Life of Bill Weasly
by SCHSTMAUBHF
Summary: Hello, I'am Bill and most of you don't know what EVER happened in my small little life, I blame the 6 kids that followed after me...ha haIt all began when Mum bought this little black lacey thing…Dad loved it obviously, on account of yours truly existin


**Da Disclaimer- We own nothing! We never will own anything! If nothing is owned, then we wont' have any!  
  
Note: This is all told as though Bill was actually writing. Cool, I know.  
The Life of Bill Weasly  
  
By Jana and Kelly (with inspiration from Lauren)  
  
As told by, Bill Weasly  
  
It all began when Mum bought this little black lacey thing.Dad loved it obviously, on account of yours truly existing. So my birth was on September 5th, which means Mum wore that little black lacey thing in December. HAPPY HOLIDAYS DAD!  
  
Soon after my birth several events occurred which I have happily blocked out. All I remember is a glimpse of the Attic Goul in spandex.The Horror. It wasn't long before my world changed..  
  
.Mum put that black lacey thing on again, and I soon had a baby brother: Charles. Oh, how I used to dress him in socks and pull him in the levitating wagon. Those were "The Quiet Days" as I remember it.  
  
Unfortunately, all changed when a little git named Percy was born. He was the most obnoxious kid. He used to throw food at Chars and I, and kick us when we got near him, but we straitened him up. If I had know that throwing him down the stairs face first would one day make him head boy, I would have done it with Fred and George too.  
  
But before Fred and George, I went to Wee Wandas' Kindergarten. There I meet the love of my small life; Heather. We shared milk, cookies, and snot, but the teacher wouldn't let us share nap mats. Never liked Teachers.  
  
Oh well, there would be plenty of time to shag when we got to Hogwarts. For then we just swapped sicknesses, including the Fizzy Pox. Which were most unpleasant, but at least we got out of school for a week, and later passed it to Percy.  
  
A year before the Twins, Mum and Dad took us to France for a lovely Holiday. There I met Emé, Ooooh, now there's a girl who knows how to use her mouth! Percy learned to walk in the hotel. If it wasn't for Charlie's knack of slapping things, I think Percy would've walked more often after that.  
  
It's too bad Emé had a fetish for black lace, or I could've had fun on the trip. It just reminded me too much of Mum.*shudders*  
  
When the Twins did come, Dad got a new job (Ministry of Magic) and worked long hours. That's when I started school. I was 10 and Mum couldn't handle all of us, so she sent Chars and I to Muggle School. "Muggle Sluts" is more like it. Poor Charlie never saw that kiss coming. He blushed for days!  
  
Ron was born while I started Hogwarts. Making Mum quite proud by getting into Gryffindor, which was her House as well. My first year I learned the meaning of "First year slaves." Which was actually quite fun, but unfortunately banned by McGonagall a year later.I can't help but wonder why..  
  
I blame the 4th year tramp with the big arse. Anyway, I loved my house, I loved my fellow classmen. I met my best friends, Thomas, in my first year. He was Gryffindor too, and loved music. Soon, I too was hooked on the so- called "drug for your ears."  
  
It was Thomas who taught me to play the Figgle Wopter, and we actually created a band called the "Unfinished Draught." Mum didn't approve of the band, so I told her we stopped playing on the same night of our big rave concert in the Forbidden Forest.  
  
That was the night I got my ear pierced, and the night I lost my virginity. All in all, I think I made out well. I still thank Tom to this day, with out him, I would of never had met Beth. My girlfriend for the rest of my Hogwarts Life.  
  
When I turned 13 my parents bought me my first Broom: A Comet 4! Now that I look back on things, that was the only financially secure time for the Weaslys. After that, Dad started collecting muggle batteries and Mum desperatle put on the black lacey thing One. Last. Time. In my Fourth Year Ginny was born, I ended up giving my broom to Charlie, who took naturally to flying and soon made the Gryfinndor Quidditch Team. GO CHARS!  
  
As Tom and I continued to rock and grow our hair out, Charlie became the best Quidditch player since Rodney Trufsky (Ravenclaw) Mum was proud. Dumbley was proud. Hell, even Ron (who had just learned to stick Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans up his nose) was proud. Yes, Chars got all the women he wanted. Sometimes I was jealous, but then I reminded myself I had Beth. Sweet, wonder Beth.  
  
Oddly enough, in my sixth year a slightly younger Professor McGonagall approached me and asked what I was to do with myself after Hogwarts. "Chase women." I said. "There's more to life then chasing the opposite sex, Mr. Weasly." No there isn't! She then pointed out that I had a knack of undoing hexes and curses. "Mr. Weasly, may I suggest working as a curse breaker?" "You may." She never did like my sarcasm, so she made me Head Boy instead.  
  
I took my bloody O.W.L's that year, and did pretty well. Charlie aced them that next year, and was made Head Boy. I, on the other hand, was beginning to think long term with Beth. I loved her. So on the night of our Seventh Year Graduation Party Tom threw in the Forbidden Forest, I planned out how I was going to asked her.. "Beth." " Are you alright Bill? You don't look too good." "Beth." "You're sick aren't you? You were up late again with Tom." " Beth, I love you." "Yes, I know sweetie, I love you too." The next thing I knew I was down on one knew and presented the 2 karat diamond that I had bought with my life's money. "Beth, I can't think of being anywhere with out you beside me.as my wife."  
  
If I had known she was going to scream so loud, and cause the entire school to hear, I would've asked her in the bathroom. Atleast those walls echo. So, she accepted and wore the ring, and I was the happiest man alive.. ...*gets water eyed* .... .. ........ ...I'm not going to cry....not going to cry. . .Hell, END CHAPTER!.*blows nose* ...I need a few minutes, Please. 


End file.
